and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
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