i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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