That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
