so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
