Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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