You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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