Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
