she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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