You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
