wanna go halves on a baby?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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