well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
