Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
