it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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