Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
