Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
