if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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