i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
