if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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