Kiss
Puke
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I am available for nakedness
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
