I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
