you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
