using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Sorry my hands just texted you
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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