Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize