Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I want her autograph on my taint
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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