u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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