It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
