Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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