oh god the rape fog is back!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
