People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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