I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
