im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
