Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
