I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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