I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize