Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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