Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
