You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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