I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
