She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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