Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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