I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
