are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
