Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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