I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
