can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
