Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He better not be in your backpack
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
