in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize