She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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