Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
