Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
