they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
