A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize