My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
