He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
