You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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