I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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