never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
