so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
