My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
