is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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