I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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