Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
