You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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