She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
