Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
