Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
