Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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