I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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