Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
