My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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