Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
