And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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